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A question that drives me hazy. |
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Written by admin
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Friday, 25 July 2008 |
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By John Abraham
As Aashayein comes close to launch, I am again faced with the prospect of taking to market another unusual role for any Indian actor. It’s not a role that needs the habitual John Abraham look, but a pale emaciated version. I know I will come into criticism for the way I look in Aashayein, because most of my audience is not used to seeing me like this. Nagesh Kukunoor showed me a way to bring this character to life.
I had lost weight, and gone through severe emotional trauma, because the film demanded it. I withdrew from the public. After the film was shot, I took a seven month sabbatical. I had to recuperate.
This was also a time when I faced a barrage of criticism from the industry about the roles I did and the films I made. I have faced uncomplimentary digs about the number of commercially unviable films I have delivered. While I usually take these comments in my stride, I began to understand what Albert Einstein meant when he said, “The question that sometimes drives me hazy; am I, or are all the others crazy?”
Was I wrong? Why would so many people in so many places disparage my work? I have always liked unconventional roles. I heard Russel Crowe mention in an interview, “Normal roles are boring”. I agree with him.
After No Smoking was shown at all the film festivals, and Kabul Express took the National Award, some of the rancour seems to have ebbed.
In retrospect, I believe in the films I have made, and the roles I have played. If my choices have emboldened good directors to push the envelope, then that’s half the job done. I want to be in the kind of cinema that hasn’t been conceived yet. Not the ones which meander towards a predictable conclusion. That is my philosophy, and I hope it works with the audience.
It’s not that I singularly search out the odd and the uneven roles to play. I also enjoyed shooting Dostana. I think conventional wisdom says that I should only do ‘commercially viable’ films like these, but then, what do I know about conventional wisdom? I’m not an industry insider.
I am as much as actor as a critic is a critic. We all have our jobs to do. I doff my hat to the critics who supported a film like Aamir. It goes to show that there is a mature voice within the industry that appreciates good cinema, not just the ‘commercial’ ones.
Finally, I must say that some commercial filmmakers have shown their faith in me and have cast me in there projects. I suppose they know their conventional wisdom better than I do, and I guess they agree with my choices. I am happy to lay to rest the diffidence I had felt about my choice of projects in the past. And I go to work each day with a greater sense of satisfaction.
I am back at work. I am wrapping up work for Dostana. I will be shooting for Kabir Khan’s next film in Philadelphia for three to four months. Then later in the year, there is a project with David Dhawan. I hope you will enjoy these films, as much as I am sure to enjoy making them. Thank you all for abiding by me. And I hope to entertain you in different ways in the future.
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